


one to one

by theundiagnosable



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, PWP, Trans Male Character, but the second p is just being comfortable together while fondly chirping, ft. the history channel/The Boys/the word 'multipenis'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 14:31:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18758335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theundiagnosable/pseuds/theundiagnosable
Summary: The thing is, there’s a way he and Zach typically do things.





	one to one

Mo’s the kind of guy who gets bossier than usual when he’s drunk, and that’s how it all starts.

“It’s just facts,” he’s saying, and William’s only partly listening to him, which is more than most of the other guys, but Mo doesn’t seem bothered. “We’re all grown-ass men, it’s the twenty-first century, if you don’t get your partner off, you’re bad at sex. That’s it.”

So that’s how it starts.

William frowns, just small. He wasn’t expecting that, what Mo said.

“What if-” William starts, but Mo cuts him off.

“No,” Mo says, firm. “No, this absolutely applies to gay stuff as well, the involvement of multiple penises is no excuse for being selfish.”

“Who has multiple penises?” Mitchy asks, interested for the first time. Typical.

“Multipenis,” Matts chimes in without looking up from where he’s busy shaking the contents of a packet of sweetener onto the hood of Mitch’s sweater without him noticing. “That could be, like, a superhero-”

William tunes out right about there, because the gay part is relevant but the multipenis definitely isn’t, for his particular situation. He automatically looks over at Zach, who just keeps up his conversation with Fred over at the Smart People Drinking Wine table, even though William knows he heard, because Zach has, like, teacher-level listening skills.

It’s a little weird, sometimes, dealing with people who don’t know about Zach. William thinks the guys would probably stop if Zach told them to, because they’ve been cool about the gay thing and they’ve never actually said anything _bad_ , and Mo especially would apologize for eight million years if they called him out for making assumptions about dicks and who has them. And Zach doesn’t care, really, or at least refuses to admit that he does, and it’s not William’s thing to tell, in any case.

So that would be that, probably, but what Mo said, if you don’t get your partner off you’re bad at sex, makes William pause, because-

He doesn’t know if he has.

The thing, the real thing, is: there’s a way him and Zachy typically do things, and it mostly involves Zach getting William laid out on the bed or the couch or any vaguely horizontal surface and doing whatever he wants until William’s begging for it. That’s part of the fun of it, William thinks, is trusting Zach to get him there, to work and work until William’s head goes all floaty and happy and he’s sometimes in tears, he’s so overwhelmed, because Zach’s kind of prudish when it comes to discussing sex but the complete opposite when it comes to actually doing it.

It’s the best sex William’s ever had, ever in his entire life, and Zach always seems really happy once he makes William come, and that’s kind of- that’s it, neither of them is that adventurous, only William thinks and thinks and tries to remember through his post-sex brain fogs, but he can’t remember actually specifically targeted-endgame-style getting Zach off. Can’t remember actively getting Zach to come no matter how far back he tries to think, even though he’s pretty sure Zach has. He must’ve.

“Do you think it’s bad if you don’t get your partner off when you have sex?” he asks Kas later, when they’re walking back to the hotel, because he doesn’t _think_ he’s bad at sex, but he needs to make sure.

“I’m not having sex with you if you’re not going to get me off,” Kasu says, like William fucking asked, making this awful face. He’s the worst best friend ever.

“I wouldn’t have sex with you anyways, I have a _boyfriend,_ ” William huffs, because he doesn’t want to have to have a crisis about this. “Just, c’mon.”

“Fucking-” Kas sighs like William’s the most annoying person in the entire world, which is how Kas acts towards mostly everyone. It would be hurtful if William didn’t know for a fact that he’s Kas’ favourite and third on his list of people he’d have a threesome with, after the girl from _Terminator_ and also Terminator from _Terminator_. “Yeah, probably,” he answers, finally. “Like, it’s rude, right?”

So: William has a crisis about it, a little.

He wasn’t trying to be rude. He tries the opposite, usually, to be the best boyfriend ever, because that’s what Zach deserves, because Zach’s the kind of guy who looks out for everyone else before himself, and William didn’t think that extended to sex, but now he’s wondering if Zach’s also the kind of guy who wouldn’t say anything if his boyfriend was secretly terrible at sex, and the idea sits in William’s stomach, this awful, guilty thing.

He should’ve thought about it more. He doesn’t know why he didn’t. Stupid Mo and his stupid sex rules. This is the kind of thing William had to know, like, three years ago.

He’s not the kind of guy who dwells, really, but he dwells on this. He dwells a lot.

\---

They mostly sleep at William’s place, because it’s got more natural light and is closer to the practice rink. They’re about as moved-in-together as possible without being actually officially moved-in-together, and it’s really nice, so far, because William can turn a corner and have a reasonably good chance of finding Zach there at any given time. He does now, once he’s done his shower, just ties his towel around his waist and pads into the bedroom to find Zach on his side of the bed with his laptop, typing in a Word document.

“I turned the heat up for you,” Zach says without looking up, and William hums gratefully – he knew it was warmer than before – and sinks into the comforter next to Zach to listen to him typing. William nearly dozes off to the _click click_ of fingers on the keyboard until deciding it’s been long enough without attention, so he scoots closer and presses his face into the worn-soft fabric of Zach’s t-shirt. He takes a big, deep breath, pretends like he can just disappear into him, happily-ever-after, the end.

The typing stops.

“Did you just smell me?” Zach asks, bemused.

“You smell nice,” William says, unashamed, because it’s the truth and he’s never not honest. “Like….” He can feel Zach waiting, anticipating, and takes his time on purpose, inhaling real deep. “Like laundry detergent,” William finally decides. “Very clean.”

“Wow,” Zach says, really dry, but in the way that means he’s working really hard not to smile. He sets his laptop down on the bedside table. “I’m _clean_ , how do you refrain from swooning?”

“Maybe I don’t,” William says, and sways enough to roll right off the bed because he knows Zach will catch him, and Zach does, just holds out his arms and takes William’s weight in that easy way that makes William feel like the ladies on the covers of trashy highlander romance novels, except he’s not in a ballgown and Zach’s not in a kilt, and also not a highlander, so William doesn’t say any of that out loud, just sighs happily and stays right where he is.

“One day,” Zach says, peering down at William with the fond-exasperated expression that’s basically his Official William Look, “I’m not going to react fast enough, and you’re going to fall on your ass, and I will have no sympathy for you at all.”

“That’s fair,” Willy agrees, because he knows it’ll never happen, because if he trusts anything at all it’s that Zach’ll catch him pretty much always. It’s a nice thought, and it stays nice when Zach leans down to kiss him, chaste at first, then heating up as William snakes his arms around his neck, tugs him as close as he can.

“Your hair’s wet,” Zach says, all fond, and William shakes his head like a dog, laughs ‘til Zach kisses him quiet. His hands are going everywhere, roaming across William’s bare chest, his abs, and then he’s toying with the knot of the towel at Will’s waist, teasing.

“Zach,” William says, asks, and Zach thumbs at his nipple, looks thoughtful, like he’s planning what he’s going to do. There’s a droplet of water from William’s shower perched on the tip of his nose. The anticipation makes William shiver. That might also be because it’s still a little chilly, even with the heat up. Either way, Zach seems to make up his mind, gets both his hands on either side of William’s face and kisses him harder than before, pressing him right into the mattress so William goes all loose and boneless, knowing what’s coming.

Zach hums, approving. “I got you,” he says, and he doesn’t mean it to be hot, William doesn’t think, but it is anyways, sort of husky. “Gonna get you there.”

And that is A-okay with William, his whole brain going _yesyesyes_ and he’s all sprawled out, ready to let Zach have at it, but then he remembers that he’s not supposed to do this, anymore, because fair’s fair, or whatever it was that Mo said last week.

William opens his eyes. “Can I eat you out?” he asks, and it’s weird, like flipping a switch, how fast Zach goes all stiff, his face flushing red.

“Don’t worry about it,” is all he says, and it’s not technically a no, but it’s not a yes either, which makes it a no, with sex rules. William opens his mouth to offer something else instead, anything else, but Zach kisses him before he can and it’s sort of unfair, how he can just magically short-circuit Will’s brain with his mouth, but he can and he does and William’s thoroughly-kissed and most of the way through an excellent handjob by the time he snaps himself back to his goal.

“I could finger you instead,” William offers hopefully, and his voice only shakes a little as Zach keeps jerking him off. “I have nice hands.”

“William,” Zach says, and William doesn’t think he’s imagining how it sounds a little like a warning, which is a little concerning, coming from the guy with a hand around Will’s dick.

“Tell me what to do, then,” William presses anyways.

“Nothing,” Zach says, forceful, and his hand is real tight around William, and fuck, William would love nothing more than to lay back and just let him keep going, but he can’t keep doing nothing and expecting Zach to do all the work, that’s the point.

“You don’t want to have sex?” he asks, and Zach finally gives up on getting William off, which is the worst thing ever, actually. Being a good boyfriend is _hard._

“What’re we doing literally right now?” Zach asks, curt and definitely a little irritable, not even just in Will’s imagination, this time.

“I know,” William says, propping himself up on his elbows. “I know, but it’s not fair if you have to do everything.”

Zach frowns. “Do you not like me doing stuff?”

“ _No_ ,” William says, earnest, because if he had a choice he’d spend the rest of his life in bed letting Zach do all the stuff, every last bit of it. “It’s my favourite ever.”

“Then why-”

“Zachy,” William whines, and he tugs at the waistband of Zach’s boxers ‘til it snaps back against his stomach. “Just let me touch your junk so I can prove I’m a good boyfriend.”

It’s the wrong thing to say – Zach’s face hardens, and he shoves William’s hand away from his underwear, not gentle at all. “I don’t need you to coddle me, thanks,” he says, icy cold. He doesn’t get mad often, but he is now, and all William can do is watch, a little stunned, as Zach gets up and heads for the door.

“Where are you going?” William asks, sitting up and tugging the sheets around his shoulders.

Zach doesn’t even look at him. “I need to cool down so I don’t say something mean,” he says, then, after a second, “My place, I guess.”

“Please don’t leave,” William says, quiet, because that’s the one thing he hates, when people walk away, how it makes him feel small and so lonely he could cry; and Zach knows that he feels like that, is the thing, and sure, they’re apparently fighting now, but he’s still Zach, and he’d never, ever try to make William sad on purpose.

Zach stands there, his back to William, and sighs like he’s counting to ten in his head. William waits, plucking at the sheets.

“Fine,” Zach says. His voice sounds really controlled, like when he’s trying not to snap at Mitch for cheating at cards. Not quite as angry as before, which Willy’s pretty sure is intentional. “Fine.” He keeps heading for the bedroom door.

“Where are you going now?” William calls after him.

“The couch,” Zach says, and nothing else, and William is naked and half-hard and too fucking sad for either of those things to be fun.

He wants to trail after Zach, to cuddle up again and maybe breathe in more of his clean-laundry smell, but he needed Zach not to leave and Zach needs to not talk to him, right now, and William is apparently really fucking bad at sex but he’s not going to be a bad boyfriend, so he stays put and gives Zach room.

He didn’t know his apartment could feel this big. It hasn’t seemed this empty in a while.

\---

It takes William ages to fall asleep, but he eventually does, and when he wakes up, it’s to the smell of pancakes and the noise of footsteps in the kitchen. Things seem better, less dire with the sun up. They usually do.

William gets dressed in one of Zach’s shirts, because those usually help him feel better as well, before heading down the hall. It’s not worry that he feels, exactly. More just- trepidation. They used to fight all the time, bickering like foreplay. He knows they’ll be okay, it’s just the getting there that’s a little confusing.

William’s nose was right: he gets to the kitchen and Zach’s standing by the stove with a bowl of pancake batter, poking at one as it sizzles in the frying pan. William knows that Zach knows that he’s there, but neither of them speaks, and William just stands by the cupboards, just watches him.

Domesticity suits Zach, William thinks. It’ll suit him in the future, when he’s got his own family to make bad dad jokes at, and it suits him now, standing in the kitchen William hardly ever used to use. William stares at the little details of him, drinks them in, the way the muscles of Zach’s back move when he adjusts the temperature of the stove; the way his hair curls ever so slightly at the nape of his neck. He’s not wearing a shirt, just sweatpants hanging loose at his hips.

William’s the only one who gets to see him like this, pretty much. And that- that kind of trust is a pretty special thing, so William pads toward the counter, pulls up a chair and breaks the silence.

“Are you still mad?” he asks.

“No,” Zach says.

William scuffs his toes on the floor. “Sorry anyways.”

Zach looks over his shoulder at him, and his eyes are gentle. “You didn’t mean to do anything,” he says, which is true, but William’s glad he apologized anyways.

He folds his arms on the counter and leans his head there, watches Zach flip pancakes. He’s really good at it, even the oval-shaped ones that William always messes up. “Was it ‘cause of the ‘let me touch your junk’ thing?” William asks, once the pancakes are on a plate and the stove is off.

“We could also not talk about genitals before nine-thirty in the morning,” Zach says, wry, which is how William knows that he’s really truly not mad anymore, since he’s joking around.

“I just don’t want to mess up again,” William says, and he knows that’s what’ll get Zach to talk, because Zach’s always the one to talk about the importance of mature communication, and this is exactly that and they both know it.

“Alright,” Zach says. “Fine, let’s- sure, we’ll parse this out.”

William subtly googles ‘parse definition’ on his phone while Zach puts the frying pan and the spatula in the sink; then, satisfied that it means he’s going to get an actual explanation, pushes out the nearest chair for Zach to sit down next to him. William shoves his feet between Zach’s shins once he’s sitting, and Zach doesn’t pull away, lets him get tangled up close, which is another good sign.

It takes Zach a while to speak, like he’s really thinking about it. William just waits.

Finally, Zach sighs. “You’re not bad at sex,” he says. “I don’t know where you got that- like, I like what we do. A lot, or I wouldn’t do it.”

“Okay…” William says, and nothing else, because that sounded like a preface to something else.

“Okay,” Zach echoes. “So you know my family has always been really supportive.” It’s not what William expected him to say, but he nods anyways as Zach goes on, “And I mean- there’s obviously stuff I had to deal with, but like, we had money, and I transitioned really young, and I’m generally pretty cis-passing, so it’s- my experience has been different from a lot of other trans guys.”

“Most people who know me now just know me as, like. A guy. So I didn’t have to think about the trans part as much as a lot of people do, and- I mean, I get it, that that’s me coming from a place of privilege, but that’s how it’s been.”

“So if we’re having sex and you have to, like, accommodate-” He hesitates for the first time, “-to accommodate my whole situation, down there, because you think you have to to be a good boyfriend, it means that we have to address it. Which I don’t like doing. And I never usually do, with you, which is nice. So I don’t want to fuck with what we have. Does that make sense?”

William has to take some time to think through everything Zach said, about cis-passing and privilege and accommodating, because none of it is stuff he ever used to think about, really. He guesses that’s kind of Zach’s point, about the not-thinking being something not everyone gets to do.

Zach lets him work through it, patient, while he chews on a pancake.

“These are good,” William says.

“Thanks,” Zach says, and rips off a piece for himself, from one of the blueberry ones.

“So,” William says, borrowing Zach’s words, “the not wanting us to have to think about your situation, it’s not because you think I care, right?”

“No,” Zach says, but then he falters, just the tiniest thing, and asks, not-quite-casual, “Do you?”

“No,” William says, honest, because Zachy being trans just- _is_ , same as him wearing ratty old t-shirts around the apartment or complaining about the history channel every time he’s drunk. “I don’t really think about it either.”

“Good,” Zach says, and there’s this sense of finality about it, like closing the book on the conversation and shoving it to the back of the shelf, which is fine, except William’s not sure the conversation’s really done yet, not sure his words came out the way he meant them to, because there’s a difference between not thinking about something and not wanting to think about something, and he doesn’t think he managed to put that across.

He chews his lip. “Okay, but-”

“Coffee?” Zach asks, pushing his chair back and hopping to his feet, and that’s that. He kisses William’s temple as he goes, and William doesn’t want to argue again, because he really, really hates arguing, so he bites his words back and brushes his hand along Zach’s side, feels the warmth of his skin, just fleetingly.

\---

What it comes down to, really, is that William didn’t really know anything about anything, until Zach.

It’s not- it isn’t a self-esteem thing, he just isn’t under any illusions about who the lucky one is in their relationship, because Zach’s pretty much perfect on every level and William doesn’t really have a lot there, once you get past the face and the hair and the good at hockey thing. People didn’t usually used to bother. Still don’t.

Zach bothered. He was four years older than William and utterly unimpressed by the eighth overall pick thing, but he bothered to look, when they were on the Marlies together and then when they were lineys in their first NHL game, on a February 29th, a leap year.

“Think about the odds,” Zach said after the game, all sweaty and gross with his eyes shining. “For us to both get here on a day that doesn’t even exist, Will, think about it-”

And William prefers not to have to think a lot, as a general rule, but he thought about it then, because Zach wanted him to, because he liked the way that Zach looked at him like he expected William to have something to say, like he was genuinely interested in hearing it.

A lot has changed, since William started dating Zach. He knows a lot more now, like how hard people have to work at university and what the candles mean on a menorah and that he’s allowed to say transgender but he can just say trans, usually, because it’s easier.

William’s never dated a trans person before, and he likes listening to Zachy anyways, so he mostly just follows Zach’s lead for what to talk about or not talk about, for gender stuff, only it’s more of the latter than the former and William always assumed that that was just how Zach liked it, but now-

He wonders, now.          

Zach’s always, always sure of himself in this quiet, steady way, never self-conscious about anything, but William thinks of the guys meaning well and saying stupid shit and Zach just listening because he doesn’t want to make it a big deal; or the way that Zach knows that William knows that he gives himself his needle with T once every week, but he still waits ‘til William leaves the room to do it; or even how Zach spoke after their fight, about how he doesn’t want William to have to accommodate how he’s different, like it would be an inconvenience.

William doesn’t know. They keep playing games, and Zach is perfectly normal, and it keeps bothering William anyways, the sex thing and the accommodating thing and all of it. He even brings it up with Alex, when they go out for sushi after the Leafs play in Buffalo.

“I should say something, right?” William asks, prodding a piece of ginger around his plate. “It’s better for me to sound stupid and have to say sorry again than for him to feel like I don’t like stuff about him, right? Because, like. Love?”

“Gross,” Alex says. “You sound like a grown-up.”

“I am a grown-up,” William says in his most mature older brother voice, and Alex makes the worst face ever followed by a bunch of gagging sounds, because he’s not even close to a grown-up at all.

For a little while, they just eat. The silence is companionable, the kind borne out of years of long car rides and changing schools six times and sitting across from each other doing homework at the kitchen table.

“Love, huh?” Alex asks, eventually, and William smiles.

“Yeah,” he says. It really is.

“Gross,” Alex says again, but like he’s happy for William, secretly. “ _Love_.”

“Yeah,” William agrees, quiet. And it is, and, he supposes, that’s what it comes down to, really.

\---

He’s never really been the type to wait for the perfect moment, so he doesn’t now, just brings it up casual as he can when they get into the car. It’s a little after three in the morning, the airport as quiet as it ever is around them. They only just landed back in Toronto, their flight delayed with the weather.

“Hey,” William says, once he’s in the passenger seat, all buckled in. Zach pauses halfway through turning the key, looks at William like, _yes?_

William takes a breath. “So I kind of made you being trans sound like it doesn’t matter?”

“Because it doesn’t,” Zach says, kind of wary, because they’re still technically sort of in public or because of what William’s saying or both.

“Okay,” William says. “But- it can?” He talks slow, choosing his words carefully, because this is important. “I know you don’t like focusing on it, but I’m not, like- it’s you? Like, part of you?” He shrugs, playing with his seatbelt. “It’s not something I’m avoiding, or- I don’t know, being attracted to you in spite of. So I don’t care if we have to think about it, to make sex more fun for you. Just so you know.”

He watches carefully for Zach’s reaction, and it’s- something. Zach looks kind of overwhelmed, and he opens and closes his mouth a couple of times but no words come out, which means he’s definitely overwhelmed, because Zach has more words than William even knows, usually.

In the end, he just reaches out and takes William’s hand, tangling their fingers together. William doesn’t need words to get the message.

“You can decide whenever, if you want me to try getting you off,” William says. “Or not. Okay?”

Zach nods. “Yeah,” he says. It comes out a little gruff, which means he’s feeling feelings and trying not to, so William takes pity and gives him a way out, because that’s how boyfriends work.

“Okay,” William says. “Love you. Drive us home now.”

Zach still looks a bit flustered, but he smiles, all pleased the way he always is when William says he loves him, which is cool, because William is also pleased by getting to love him. It works out pretty good, that way.

“I love you too,” Zach says, decisive the way he always does, and then he turns the key and the radio comes on, still on the station they left it before the roadie. William settles back in his seat, listens to the music playing soft, and Zach keeps holding his hand across the gearshift, and yeah, they’re going to be okay.

\---

Nothing changes, really.

William’s okay with that, mostly. He likes his life, likes the rhythm of being with Zach and hanging out with the boys and Skyping his family and skating until he can’t breathe.

They’re all doubled over and out of breath after they get bag-skated, but not out of breath enough not to chirp Zach for being Coach’s long-lost secret baby after Babs does the whole ‘You all need to try harder to be like Hymie’ thing he likes to do. They have a bet going to see who can guess how many times he’ll say it by playoffs.

“They even kind of look alike, you know?” Muzz chirps, elbowing Zach.

“That’s a compliment for him,” Zach retorts, easily, while Matts kicks at William’s shin from the next stall over.

“So like, you’re basically dating young Babs.”

“Fuck you,” William says, and the whole room is in on it, whipping towels at each other like children while Zach does his best Saskatchewan accent. William resigns himself to the fact that the people he’s closest to in the world are even stupider than him, then throws in the towel, metaphorically but also literally, because he wants to get in on the fun.

Zach has a meeting, after, so William hitches a ride back home with Kas. It’s kind of taking his life in his hands, because Kas is a deeply terrible driver, mostly because he spends the whole trip describing in extreme detail and many hand gestures how he bruised his ass when he and his latest girlfriend were either doing yoga or having sex. William gets lost in the details, a little. He asks, eventually, and Kasu rolls his eyes and really gives it to him, because he’s like if barbed wire was a person, sometimes, more sardonic even than Zachy.

“If you want relationship advice, just ask,” William tells him, snooty, and Kas flips him off, which is basically a hug, by their standards. He puts his hands back on the wheel after, at least. They survive.

So it’s that and more like it, just the normal ebbs and flows of the season, and then:

They win against the Blues and they’ve got two straight days off and Zach’s bracketed over him on the couch. It’s fast and eager and kind of inelegant, but William thinks it might be his favourite way to have sex, right after a win with both of them still on an adrenaline high. William’s head already feels like one of the little sparklers that restaurants put in birthday cakes, fizzing bright and distracting as he winds a hand in Zach’s shirt, clutches him close.

He squirms, a little, when Zach’s finger first presses against his hole, because it’s cold enough with lube to be kind of startling. Zach pauses, nudges his nose against William’s temple.

“You good?” Zach murmurs, because he always checks in even though William’s already nodding, desperate, because however good he feels now he knows that Zach will make him feel ten times better. And the checking-in is really nice, but here’s nothing nice about it at all when Zach changes the question, asks, real low, “You gonna be good?”

William lets out a breath that comes out kind of like a whimper. _Fuck._

Zach looks kind of smug, just for a moment before he goes back to this determined, focused-look as he adjusts himself where he’s straddling William, their legs slotted together, and slips his finger in just to the knuckle. It’s barely anything, just enough to be teasing.

“More,” William says, needy, and Zach shushes him so William clamps his mouth shut because he can be good, he’ll be good; and he gets rewarded with another of Zach’s fingers, with him moving them, twisting them enough that the friction makes William shiver. It’s a slow slide, in and out, and William just lies there and lets himself get lost in the feeling, in being good while Zach fucks him.

He realizes it really slow. Zach is like- he’s pushing down, almost grinding against William’s thigh. It’s an unconscious kind of movement, or it would be, except it’s Zach, which means it’s something he’s allowing himself, making a conscious choice to do this, and that’s just the hottest thing ever, him seeking out what feels good.

Their eyes meet, just for a split-second. Mostly by accident. Zach’s pupils are big, and he looks like he _wants_ , and William watches him through a split-second of hesitation, then Zach’s reaching up with his free hand to where William’s still clinging to his shirt. He tugs his shirt out of William’s grip, then, before Will can complain, pulls William’s hand down between his legs, like permission.

William skates his fingers over the wet spot on Zach’s boxers, the fabric damp under his touch and it’s like- he doesn’t expect to like it as much as he does, to feel like he just got knocked over the head with an anvil cartoon-style, because it’s incredibly fucking hot, proof of Zach being into him.

“Just-” Zach pants, and he’s still working his fingers in William, still curling them mercilessly so William’s arching his back, helpless. “Just stay there.” Like there was a chance that William was going to move.

And that’s it, really, the heavy moment disappearing into the movement of bodies, overlapping everywhere. William’s not the best at multitasking, doesn’t know how Zach manages it, nearly-riding William’s fingers and still fucking him with three of his own, so he just keeps his hand between Zach’s legs, presses up with the heel of his hand into the fabric between them.

It’s not graceful at all, a tangle of limbs and pushing up into each other, desperate, but they manage not to fall off the couch, and when William thinks he’s about to explode, Zach pulls out of him and jerks him off quick and practiced. It only takes a matter of seconds until William’s trembling, and he hides his face against Zach’s shoulder and bites at the muscle there as he comes, dizzy with the way it makes Zach hiss. That part maybe doesn’t count as being good, exactly, but William’s past caring, sinking into the post-orgasm haze.

He comes back to himself in shades, aware moment by moment of Zach brushing his hair off his face, peering down at him with soft eyes that manage to be chirping at the same time.

“You’re such a brat,” is all he says before he slaps William’s cheek real lightly, approving. William sighs contentedly, leans into his touch as Zach presses his thumb into the plush part of William’s bottom lip. He lets William close his lips around that now, no teeth this time.

Zach was getting off, William realizes, once his brain starts working again. Not just the abstract, liking what they do kind of getting off he talked about before, either- William was touching him, he was actively seeking what felt good. And William doesn’t think he actually got Zach to come, not fully, and it was still mostly Zach doing the work, but he stays pressed up close and listens to the hitch in Zach’s breathing, feels his heart still racing, and thinks- maybe.

\---

It’s not a one-time thing. Not an every-time thing, either, but enough times that it stops being surprising, Zach letting William touch him, always on top of his underwear, always in the middle of Zach doing something else, but- it happens.

The season rolls along. They win four in a row, drop the next two. William gets assists on every one of Matts’ goals for the hatty in Ottawa. They visit Zach’s family, once they’re back in Toronto, and Zach gets all older-brother bossy when his little brothers start complaining about school, but he keeps a hand on the small of William’s back, this protective kind of gesture that William wants to wrap himself up in and keep forever. Zach’s mom makes spicy fried rice because she knows it’s William’s favourite.

On Monday, William’s in the bathroom getting ready for some charity thing they’re doing, and Zach doesn’t wait for William to finish putting in his contacts before doing his shot, just perches on the closed toilet and casually pokes the needle into his thigh, matter-of-fact like this isn’t the first time William’s seen him do it.

William blinks, surprised, and ends up dropping his lens. Zach snorts a laugh before getting up to go get dressed. That’s all.

It’s new, but doesn’t feel new, really; and it stays like that. Little things, comfortable kind of things. They’re on the plane to Florida and William naps on Zach’s shoulder while he reads over the advanced copy of his next book. They’re making out in the shower and Zach lets Will toy with his nipples until he’s all blushy and shaky.

Then, they’re in the kitchen, too late for lunch and too early for dinner, standing around eating these super salads with more types of green leafy vegetables than William knew existed. William’s in his Gucci t-shirt, because just because he’s at home isn’t a reason not to look good; Zach, who doesn’t share his philosophy, is in his old Transformers t-shirt with the main guy superimposed over the trans flag, which isn’t the worst pun William’s ever seen, but is pretty close.

“The _main guy_?” Zach splutters, when William tells him that. “It’s- you’ve seen these movies, I know you have, his name is Optimus Prime.”

“You have awful taste in movies, Zachary,” William informs him, flinging a piece of what is probably arugula at him. Zach swats it out of midair. Great reflexes.

“You watched _La La Land_ literally six times, William,” he retorts, and William makes a face at him – _La La Land_ won Academy Awards, he has taste, thank you very much – then shoves a mouthful of salad into his mouth so he won’t smile when Zach keeps rambling about the value of Transformers as a really in-depth cultural metaphor. His boyfriend is the biggest dork in the entire world.

It’s nice. It’s really nice, and not the kind of thing William wants to take for granted, Zach standing in the kitchen wearing a trans pun, because it’s not the sort of thing he ever really used to do, for how self-assured he always seemed. And it’s not as if he was hiding it before, obviously, just- there’s a whole world of difference between both of them knowing and not talking about it versus Zach goofing off over arugula salads in a cheap novelty t-shirt.

It makes his arms look really good, and they look even better post-salads when Zach lifts William up onto the counter like it hardly even takes effort and kisses him, sliding his hands into William’s hair as he does.

“Hey,” William says once he’s been kissed stupid, wrapping his legs around Zach’s waist and bumping their noses together.

“Hey, Will,” Zach says back, serious enough to be mostly goofy, and the shirt is a nice thing, sure, but William gets him out of it soon enough.

\---

So Kas is napping on his shoulder and William’s mostly focused on trying to figure out if his bright green cocktail is apple or lime flavoured – it just tastes _green_ – when the conversation ends up on penises, which is starting to seem pretty inevitable.

“I’m just saying,” Mitchy’s mid-debate with Trav, also mid- his, like, fifth drink. “I’m just _saying_ , there are like, at least six situations where it’s not gay to touch another guy’s dick. Minimum, six.”

“Seven,” Auston says, from where he’s wedged in between William and Mitch. “Remember-”

“Oh, dude, you’re right,” Mitch says, without Matts even explaining, because they share a brain, William’s pretty sure. “Okay, seven.”

And Will’s pretty sure that there’s not even one, let alone seven situations where that’s not gay, but he also is extremely unqualified in the department of heterosexuality, and it doesn’t end up mattering, because Mo pipes up, in his Leadership Voice, “I think we should rework this conversation without the assumption that guys and dicks necessarily have to be synonymous.”

Which-

William blinks.

Okay. That’s new.

“Don’t say big words when I’m drunk,” Mitch says, like he’s genuinely confused, and Mo sighs.

“Transgender and nonbinary people exist, man,” Mo says, not unkindly, and also not subtly at _all_ , holy shit. “I have a YouTube video, look.”

And so, in maybe the most surreal moment in at least the last month, William ends up crowded around Mo’s phone with the guys, watching some Trans People for Dummies video in the middle of a crowded bar on a Saturday night.

William peers a few tables over to look at Zach, trying to see if he knows anything about why Mo suddenly got educated, and Zach’s got this tiny little smile on his face when he meets William’s eyes. And that, plus Mo doing his whole GSA thing about something he definitely didn’t know about a few weeks ago, is enough for William to start putting the pieces together.

He waits ‘til they’re home to bring it up, sitting on the edge of the tub while Zach brushes his teeth.

“Did you tell Mo?” William asks, curious.

“It wasn’t a big deal,” Zach says, all humble, even though _holy shit_ , it was and is, because Zach would never ever admit it but William knows this is something he’s been nervous about, letting any of the guys know about him.

William doesn’t jump up and celly with him, but only because he knows that if Zach wanted him to make a fuss about it, he would’ve told him earlier.

“Dude,” is all he says instead, smiling so big his face hurts. This is the biggest fucking deal.

Zach spits out his toothpaste. He’s got a little smudge on the corner of his mouth. “I just, like,” he says, clearly thrilled and trying to be lowkey about it, “I just felt like saying it to someone. So I did.” He looks down at William and grins. “He did the ‘thank you for trusting me’ thing.”

“ _Again_?” William laughs, because they both got that exact speech from Mo after they told him they were together, and they googled it later and found it word for word in a ‘What To Do When Your Friend Comes Out’ article, which is incredibly lame, but also- it’s the kind of thing that makes Mo extremely lame, how extra and totally non-subtle he is about ally stuff, but it’s also what makes him a good guy to tell, the fact that he’s willing to memorize dumb articles to try and be a good friend. Lame or not, William could kiss the guy now, for making Zach look so happy.

“That’s awesome,” William says, firm. “That’s really awesome, Zachy.”

“Yeah,” Zach says, and he’s smiling and pretending not to be, and Will’s never been prouder of anyone in his life.

\---

So there’s all that, right, and maybe William’s being a little dense, not realizing that Zach’s, like, building up to something, but he doesn’t, doesn’t see it coming at all until a couple weeks later.

They were going to bed, all the lights off but one, when they got distracted, and that means that the room’s dimly lit, shadows falling across Zach’s face when William peers down at him. Zach’s still in his pajamas, which is objectively unsexy, maybe, but he’s also on his knees beside the bed, a hand at the base of William’s dick while he blows him, which is objectively the literal sexiest thing ever, William’s pretty sure.

Zach does blowjobs like he does everything else, with sex: purposeful, single-minded, and a little bit mean, the way he takes his time ‘til William’s begging. It’s wet, Zach’s mouth stretched around William’s dick so it’s all pink and used, and William doesn’t think he can handle it but Zach knows he can, he always always knows, and he doesn’t pull back as a shudder goes through William’s whole body and he spills into Zach’s mouth.

“ _Fuck_ ,” William gasps, completely blissed out as he falls back so he’s flat on the bed, his feet dangling over the edge. He can’t _move;_ can only muster up an ‘mmph’ when Zach tells him how good he was.

He doesn’t know how much time has passed when he feels the bed dip next to him, just reaches out to pat Zach’s thigh, grateful. His hand bumps up against Zach’s arm as he does, and when William looks, he sees Zach’s eyes closed, his hand in his underwear as he touches himself.

It takes William’s breath away, literally. He just- it’s a hell of a sight, and Zach’s biting his lip like he’s keeping himself from making noise, but William wants his sounds, wants his everything, so he turns his head and kisses him blindly, expecting that to be it, maybe Zach’ll take his hand and let William help that way. Instead, Zach breaks off the kiss, stays pressed in close. There are a few heartbeats of quiet, something breathless about it, like Zach’s steeling himself.

“You can,” is what he says finally, his voice a little hoarse. “If you want, like- what you said before. With- just if you want.” And it takes William a few seconds, and then a few more, to realize what he means, partly because Zach’s still hopelessly bad at talking about sex and partly because it’s pretty unexpected, because touching is one thing but Zach letting William go down on him is a whole other level.

“Yeah?” William asks, and Zach nods, visibly swallows but looks determined. “Zach-”

“C’mon,” Zach says, before William can ask again, and William knows him enough to know that this is another thing where Zach doesn’t want to be coddled once he makes up his mind, so he just sits up, kisses the tip of Zach’s nose then lowers himself down the bed, still a little hazy after coming so recently.

Zach lifts his hips, helpful, so William can get rid of his boxers. They’re stripey, and for some reason that stays in William’s head like the funniest thing ever and he has to hold back a high-pitched laugh, because he doesn’t want Zach to think it’s at him.

It’s a pretty bizarre reversal, Zach lying there in his UMich Department of History t-shirt and nothing else with William braced above him. William wonders if Zach feels like this every time they have sex, this amount of responsibility.

“Hi,” William says, right to Zach’s general crotch area right below him, and he doesn’t mean to, really, he’s just a little bit nervous all of a sudden, because this is not his area of expertise, like, at all. He says it real quietly, but Zach must hear anyways, because he stares at the ceiling and does this long-suffering sigh.

“He’s saying hi to it now, fantastic.”

And he’s all tense and William’s all tense, but that right there, Zach being all sarcastic, is normal enough that William can’t not smile, and then the corners of Zach’s mouth twitch upwards too, and it’s just them, the two of them, and William doesn’t know why he was nervous in the first place.

Just them, he thinks, and leans down and presses a kiss to the inside of Zach’s thigh, then in and in, and then he darts out his tongue, testing. It’s- it’s a lot, and Zach’s already kind of wet, already clearly wanting him, and that’s what does it for William, gets him exploring more, trying to get more of that.

He goes slow, taking his time to figure out what he’s doing. Zach’s breath is all shaky when William licks between the folds of skin, so he does more of that, then he uses his thumb to put some more pressure where Zach reacts most, and he must do something right, because Zach’s hand flies down and clutches at Will’s hair, enough that it kind of hurts in the best way possible.

“Is that-” William pulls off and starts to ask, but Zach’s shoving him back down, all desperate.

“Don’t _stop_ ,” he orders, and he sounds kind of wrecked, all strung out, and like hell is William going to do anything but listen to him when he sounds like that, so he gets his mouth back on Zach with renewed enthusiasm, tries sucking this time and, yep, that was a good call, based on the sound Zach makes. William chalks it up to ‘things to remember later’, because the clit is apparently some kind of cheat code, and William does not know what the fuck is going on in that little guy, but it clearly feels good, and that’s pretty much the point of everything, so he doesn’t stop.

It’s kind of overwhelming, a lot of things at once: William’s whole world is Zach slick and hot against him, Zach’s thighs so fucking big around William’s head, trembling, the muscles there all tense, the way his heels are digging into William’s lower back, holding him in place and fuck, William wasn’t expecting to get hard from this, but oh look, there he is.

“Fuckfuckfuck _fuck_ ,” Zach says, like, eighty times, rapid-fire, and he’s bucking up like he can’t help himself, William clinging to his hips to try and get him over the edge, and it’s not- there’s no, like, one moment when it’s done, not like when Will comes, but Zach pulls him off, eventually, and he’s all limp and boneless, and William figures that’s about as good as he could’ve expected to do, for his first attempt.

“Oh my god,” Zach pants, kind of talking to the ceiling again. William probably looks like a mess, he knows, from his mouth on Zach and Zach’s hand in his hair, but Zach looks just as wrecked, like he just got hit by a truck in a way that William would like to think is because of his extremely advanced sex abilities but is most probably just a side effect of having a proper orgasm for the first time in who knows how long.

William did that for Zach, he thinks, that was _him_ , and he’s pretty proud of himself and a little nervous too, for no good reason. His laugh comes out kind of shaky, and Zach’s does too to match, and it’s-

It’s new. Maybe that’s why it’s weird.

William scoots up the bed, next to Zach, and listens to Zach trying to catch his breath. He feels off-balance, a little. In a nice way, he thinks? The Zach coming part is definitely nice, at least. He tugs Zach’s arm over so it’s around his stomach, and the weight is grounding, holding him in place, and that part’s even nicer.

Zach turns to look at him, eventually. Neither of them has spoken, yet, and William must still look ridiculous, because Zach reaches up and smudges at William’s mouth. It’s probably pretty futile until some mouthwash gets involved, but William appreciates the gesture anyways, and it’s a really nice moment, and both of them got off, which means they’re good at sex, and that’s why it sucks so much that Zach isn’t happy.

It’s not like Zach says anything. It’s not like he looks _sad_ , even, really, just not as happy as William wanted him to look. He looks thoughtful, and if anyone was going to be thoughtful after sex, it’d be him, but- it’s not how Will was planning this, really.

“You didn’t like it,” William says, a question. He tries not to sound accusing, because he’s not upset, or at least not upset at Zach about it. He doesn’t know why he feels a little relieved. He shouldn’t.

“That’s definitely not it,” Zach says, emphatic enough that William has to believe him. He doesn’t think Zach would lie about that, not to him. “I did like it, it felt- you saw how it felt, that was- I liked it.”

“But,” William says, because he can tell there’s one lurking at the end of the sentence. They’re not doing stuff they both don’t like, that’s not the point of this.

Zach brushes William’s hair out of his face. “Don’t laugh,” he says.

“Ha, ha,” William says, just to be a brat, but he leans into Zach’s hand, waiting.

Zach’s thumb strokes his cheek. “I don’t think I really like sex being about me,” he says, like he’s admitting something. “Not as a trans thing, or an insecure thing- like, as a Zach thing.”

William frowns, confused. “You’re…shy?”

“No,” Zach says, which William should’ve predicted, probably, because Zach’s a lot of things, but shy isn’t one of them. “I think, uh. Getting you off is kind of what gets me off?” He looks embarrassed about it, ridiculously, practically tripping over himself to continue, “Not that this wasn’t good! More just- um, mentally? I like knowing that you trust me to get you there, and it’s kind of better for me when I’m actively doing stuff so it’s not all about me, is what I’m saying. If that makes sense.”

And it does, mostly, but William chews his lip. It still tastes like Zach. “But… I like when it’s all about me,” he admits, a little bit guiltily, because Zach’s apparently the most unselfish person on the planet, and Will’s just- he’s just not.

“Oh, weird,” Zach says, dry. “It’s almost like we enjoy complimentary things and are therefore deeply compatible, we should try hooking up sometime.”

It takes William a second to process. Zach waits for him to get there, and when he does, William laughs out loud, he’s so relieved.

He _knew_ they were good at sex, together.

 “You’re smart,” Will says, impressed.

“Sometimes, yeah,” Zach deadpans, and William’s heart is just soaring, because it’s _them_ , they can do what they both like and be okay with that, and Zach doesn’t mind that he’s kind of lazy in bed, Zach likes taking care of him the way William likes to be taken care of. And- and it’s still good they tried, William thinks, because Zach liked getting off and William liked being part of that, and he thinks that’s a place to start, to fit that in to what works for them and fuck Mo and his sex rules and everything else, probably.

“I was so worried,” William admits. “You know?”

“I know,” Zach says, and his eyes are all soft, the way they get when Will does something either really stupid or really good. “You’re- it’s sweet that you were. Even though ‘sweet’ is a ridiculous adjective and I hate it, but-”

“I _am_ sweet,” William agrees, and Zach kisses his cheek, then his shoulder; then, since they’re being honest, “Zach?”

Zach presses a kiss to the crook of William’s neck. “Yeah?”

“I never want to be on top again,” William says, very decisively, and Zach laughs into his skin, and yeah, they’re on the same page, here, William thinks.

\---

Zach does a whole bunch of research, because he’s good at that kind of thing, and William mostly does moral support, because he’s not the researching type, even if what they’re researching is ideas for sex.

The internet’s pretty cool: there’s a lot of couples like them, and a lot of options, and Zach and William look at product reviews and message boards and one peer-reviewed article because William’s boyfriend is the biggest nerd in the NHL, and they end up online shopping for a strap-on, because that seemed like the thing Zach liked most.

Turns out there are a _lot_ of different types. This part of the research is pretty fun, actually, because William gets to scroll through pages and pages of dicks and watch Zach get all weird and blushy, because he’s still kind of a prude, somehow. It’s cute.

William’s a fan of this massive pink one, and Zach says it’s tacky, which is ridiculous in the context of shopping for literal strap-ons, and they end up bickering about that and having to split off to search on two separate computers. It’s nervous kind of bickering, nothing heated behind it. Not that William’s _nervous_ , really, just- it’s new. Weird and new, because he’s never shopped for this kind of thing before.

There’s one with, like, five different attachments, and it’s the most ridiculous thing Will’s ever seen, and that plus the nerves is enough that he bursts out laughing, hard enough that his ribs ache.

“Zach,” he squeaks out, once he can talk. “Zachy, look,” he turns the screen, shaking from laughter. “Multipenis.”

“Oh my god,” Zach says, and he’s trying so hard to be disapproving, but his eyes are all crinkled up and smiley.

It’s easier after that. Zach bans William from buying the multipenis no matter how much Will begs, but they do eventually find one they both like, attached to underwear instead of to complicated straps and buckles and stuff. It’s still kind of weird to click ‘Add to Cart’ and enter their shipping information – so maybe William’s a little bit of a prude as well, possibly – but they do it, and it’s mostly exciting instead of scary, and then they curl up on the couch to watch Alex’s game, and it’s a pretty okay evening, all things considered.

\---

They’re at a restaurant-bar in Columbus, and there are a bunch of TVs on the wall, and one of them, the little shitty one in the corner under the one showing replays from their game, is showing _Ancient Aliens_ , and that’s the one Zach notices. William knew he would.

“You know what?” Zach rants to no one in particular, extremely passionately, because this is how he gets when they do shots. “You know what, it’s honestly garbage that they’re even still airing this show. We know how they built the pyramids, there’s compelling evidence, it wasn’t aliens! The suggestion is just- it’s ridiculous. It’s – no, listen – this channel is supposed to be about _history,_ it’s not supported by anything.”

“It’s a better story if it’s aliens, man,” Matts says, from the other side of their booth. He’s not wrong. He’s also got his hands, like, somehow inside Mitchy’s hoodie pocket, which is a new level of intricate ritual even for those two, but some things they’ve got to figure out on their own, so William doesn’t bug them about it, just reaches up and pokes Kappy right in his chin.

“Maybe you’re an alien, Kasu,” he says, because he really does look like one, a little.

“Fuck you,” Kas says, easy, because he definitely knows he looks like one too, and he pokes William right back, because that’s how they show affection, and they’ve got a lot of it, probably, deep down.

“They just have no _integrity_ ,” Zach is still saying, and William shrugs off Kas, leans on Zach’s shoulder and smiles into his shirt while the boys laugh at Zachy or at the alien thing or maybe just everything, tonight, and even Zach ends up smiling, eventually.

Zach might tell their friends about him, eventually, William thinks. He might not, too. They’ll be okay either way. That part William doesn’t think, he _knows_ , because he loves his team and he loves his best friend and he loves his boyfriend, and they love him back; and maybe he’s a little drunk, sure, but maybe some things are just easy, sometimes, too.

\---

And:

They do try it, eventually.

It feels special, at first, like a big deal; and then it just feels normal, the two of them splayed out in bed while Zach slicks his fingers up and gets William ready; and then it feels kind of goofy because neither of them can stop giggling about putting the condom on the strap-on, once Zach’s got it on.

“Okay?” Zach says, once they’ve kissed each other into something close to seriousness and William’s on his stomach under him, wet and wanting and opened up.

“Okay,” William says, then, “Love you. You- okay.”

Zach does this quiet little laugh. Not nervous, not since they got started, because he’s usually the brave one. “Love you too,” he says, and then he’s pushing in, guiding the strap into William real slow.

“ _Zach_ ,” William breathes, taken aback, because fingers are nice but they’re barely anything compared to how full he is now. It aches, a little, a stretch that he’s not used to.

“I got you,” Zach says, sure of himself, steady as anything, and he strokes his thumb along the hollow of William’s hip. “I got you.”

“I know,” William says, and he does, so he breathes in, breathes out, lets Zach hold him in place as they both get used to things. It’s got to be at least a couple of minutes until Zach starts moving in him, just shallow.

William lets his head fall forward, feels the press of Zach’s lips on the nape of his neck, his hips moving all the while. He’s going slow, not pushing all the way in, and William can tell he’s being careful, trying to find his footing and make it good, like it would ever not be, with the two of them.

“Can you- more?” he asks, and Zach doesn’t tell him to be good this time, because it’s not that kind of thing, just listens, fucks into William until they’re pressed together as close as can be and William was so, so wrong to think he was full before, compared to now.

“Good?” Zach asks, and William nods, feels Zach smile, small, against his neck before he straightens up and gets a hand splayed out on William’s back, something close to possessive. It’s slow going, but he’s moving more and more confidently, sending sparks along William’s spine every time he brushes his prostate.

It’s vulnerable, the way this always sort of is, but the good kind of vulnerable, William thinks, the kind where it’s new for both of them. Good for both of them.

Neither of them is in a rush – they have all night – and it’s nearly leisurely, at the beginning, just building slow from wanting to needing. William digs his fingers into the sheets, watches them crumple under his hand before fluttering his eyes shut. Zach’s setting the pace, in control, and William is focused on every sensation, on the heat pooling in his stomach, so that it takes him a while to notice when things change.

It’s- William’s confused, at first. Somewhere along the line, the way Zach’s moving in him changed. Like- faster, yeah, but also just not the way he was fucking William before, his angle a little different, sort of up-and-down instead of just in-and-out, and he’s pushing down on the base of the strap with more pressure, and then William connects the dots, how flushed Zach is, how he’s moving more urgently, really grinding down, and it’s like- _oh._

“Fuck,” William says, taken aback, because they read about it, people getting off from the friction, but the internet said it didn’t work for everyone, and Zach said he didn’t care. “Are you-”

“Yeah,” Zach says, and the word comes out choked-up, almost needy, and that’s nearly enough to make William come right there, the thought of Zach driving desperately into him, wanting William that bad. “Fuck, it’s so- you’re so tight and I can see it, I want to-”

“You can,” William says, eager, pushing back into Zach’s hips. “You can, come on, I want you to.”

And Zach makes this ragged sort of sound, his hand bracing on William’s back, a brand there, and it takes them a few thrusts to find the rhythm, to find an angle that works for both of them, but they do, and it’s-

 _God_ , it’s so much, Zach not even pulling out any more, just staying so fucking deep in William, and grinding fast, frantic against him so that William can feel it through his whole body. He can’t help the noises he’s making, would be embarrassed if they were in front of anyone but Zach; as is, he doesn’t even have to ask, Zach reaches around him and jerks him off, doesn’t stop moving his hips, and William can feel it cresting inside him.

“Zach,” he says, and he means to say something else, something romantic or bossy or funny or anything, but nothing else exists and all that comes out, pleading, is, “Zach, Zach-”

And Zach’s holding him so, so tight, and William can feel him shaking, and for the first time they get there together, or close enough. William doesn’t want it to end, lets Zach keep working him through it, his hand slick with William’s come, even when it edges over into too much.

He kind of wants to cry, but in a happy way, the totally-exhaustedly-happy way he feels after an overtime win; the one-in-a-million, first game on a leap year kind of feeling that’s always going to be what Zach is, to William.

He doesn’t have the energy to protest when Zach pulls out of him, but he’s not left wanting for long, because Zach Hyman doesn’t know how not to go the extra mile, the extra ten, even when he’s getting over his own orgasm – Will lets out a shaky sigh as Zach presses his lips to the small of his back, then down to where he’s already sensitive and it _aches_ , too much by a million miles and still not enough, not even once Zach adds his fingers. And William doesn’t think he can get there again so soon, but he should know better by now, should know _Zach_ better by now, because he ends up gasping into the sheets, eyes damp with tears as he comes again under Zach’s mouth.

“Good?” Zach asks, and William doesn’t bother answering, can’t, but he knows Zach’ll get the message anyways.

William lies there, floating contentedly, only half-aware of Zach moving around. He hears the water running in the en suite, stretches out gratefully and revels in the attention when Zach comes to clean him off.

“Turn over for me?” Zach says, and William does, and he should probably be used to the way Zach looks at him by now, but he’s not. Maybe will never be.

“You’re really beautiful,” Zach says, soft. Just simple, no flattery about it, like he’s stating a fact.

“I know,” William says, automatic; then, when he realizes what he said, “I mean, you also-”

He doesn’t think Zach even hears the last part, too busy laughing, and William can’t bring himself to mind.

\---

(And:

After, a long while after, Zach’s got an arm around William while they laze around in bed, no clothes or anything at all between them. William’s tracing out the lines on Zach’s chest, mostly just touching for the sake of it, not really thinking anything in particular, because that’s the kind of guy he is.

“What?” Zach asks, because he’s probably thinking a lot of things, because that’s the kind of guy _he_ is.

William forgets that they’re scars sometimes, instead of just there. They’re these faint little lines leftover from Zach’s surgery he got before William even knew him, straight if he first looks at them, tiny zig-zags if he looks closer. Willy’s got one that looks the same on his shin, and another smaller one on his elbow, from when he was ten. He likes that they match.

“When I was little,” William says, kind of absently, “I used to think that after you got stitches you could unzip them. Just open up whenever.”

He imagines that he could do it now, just open up the two rows of zig-zags and curl up right next to Zach’s heart, really cozy, so there would be nothing except ZachZachZach everywhere and nothing else to worry about. That sounds pretty nice, he thinks.

“You’re so weird,” Zach says, teasing same as always, but he turns so he can circle Willy in his arms, so he’s wrapped around him, not everywhere, but close; so William can shut his eyes, breathe in Zach’s laundry-detergent smell, and he was right – it’s the nicest _ever.)_

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  \- some day they’re going to get brave enough to try handcuffs and william’s going to lose his goddamn mind.  
>    
>    
>  \- [zach and willy flirting](https://66.media.tumblr.com/698e1f096bd3e04288722583a1ffdea0/tumblr_pk8dxeFiIm1r7gr1j_540.jpg)   
> 


End file.
